It’s been a long day, and all you want to do is to crawl into bed and score a #hardeight. Just as you begin to sink into the sheets sand enter your sweet, sweet slumber, a sound rips you from your peaceful haze. It’s quiet at first, nothing more than a few creaks that make you think it’s the damn heating duct again. But then the sound matures into something like bowling balls being thrown onto a bed in rapid succession and you hear muffled groans through the wall.
Yep, it’s your neighbors. And they’re doing it. Loudly.
Now, at this impasse, there are a few steps to take. You can throw a pillow over your head, blast some white noise and forget the rhythmic rocking, passionate screams and what can only be the crack of a riding crop on bare butt meat. Or, much like these short-tempered, sleep-deprived folks, you can slip a note under the neighbors’ door that asks them to, er, kindly stop their incessant lovemaking. We gathered some of our favorite written reactions to loud neighbors. EB White the authors are not. But there’s a certain kind of poetry to their passive aggression.
The Mortal Kombat Fan
The Animal Rights Activist
The Angry, Grammar-Inept Neighbor
The Inconsiderate Note Leaver
The Concerned Neighbor
The Surprisingly Courteous Exchange