By definition, addictions are tough to quit. So if you’re having trouble weaning yourself off screens at night, you have our sympathies. You’re also the target customer for a new placebo called the NoPhone and its upcoming younger sibling, the NoPhone Zero.
NoPhones are like iPhones without any features or capabilities. Basically, they’re the equivalent of Nicorette gum with no nicotine: iPhone-shaped blocks of plastic (with a snazzy mirror on one side) that recovering i-addicts can hold when they’re jonesing to run their carpal-tunnel-ridden fingers over that buzzing, rectangular analeptic.
As the website says, “The NoPhone has no warranty and is not intended to be used for anything.”
The original NoPhone costs $12, but the NoPhone Zero will only set you back $5, according to its Kickstarter campaign, which hit its funding goal in 48 hours.
Here’s a video for the NoPhone Zero that, fittingly, provides nearly no information:
The NoPhone is a funny little gambit — not John Oliver funny, but “hey, that’s funny” funny. Still, there’s probably no need to shell out five bones — let alone $12 — when something in your junk drawer or box of electronic miscellany could sit in your hand and do nothing as well as a NoPhone.
Here are some other worthy placebos:
- An external hard-drive for which you’ve lost the cord.
- A block of fool’s gold.
- A pocket-sized book of personal mantras.
- A box of crayons (if your phone is tiny. Tailor accordingly, obviously.)
- Two boxes of contact lenses taped together
Need I go on?